Gambling

A roll of the dice.

Is it chance or the release

of inhibition? They say flip a coin and you’ll know

the decision you already made.

They say things happen

for a reason.

She always called at three am.

They didn’t tell you that.

They didn’t tell you that you’d wonder why

me?

She’s crying because she’s drunk

and picked a fight with her pregnant roommate.

Because her roommate is the crazy one.

Because she needs to move out

right now.

Because you’re the only one who understands,

not that you do. But you did kiss once,

and ever since she called or just showed up

when she needed you.

Always three am.

She wakes you with a phone call from the Tri-Cities,

half a state away, so you get nervous.

Only this time she don’t need you,

but a play on what you would do

if she were with you. Every time

her heart broke she called you.

You keep the dice in your hand

because you know this is a gamble that won’t pay,

but you always wonder.

Because you know what she wants

may start in your pants but ends with a ring

that isn’t worth the payment plan.

 

When she called you the last time

you were driving a U-Haul

full of the things belonging

to a girl you didn’t love.

It was daytime,

but she called anyway.

Three broken engagements in a year

and she’s stuck in Los Angeles.

 

It’s three am she must be lonely

but she doesn’t know you anymore.

She’s back home in Pasco

and her high is fading,

so she drives to Columbia Park,

plays Russian Roulette

and loses to herself.

Now every time you roll the dice

her eyes look up at you.

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