The Muthafuckin’ Eagle

Majestic as fuck, sitting there watching us
From a tree. Stretching his wings and shit,
Lifting his neck up like some crazy-ass
Prairie-dog bird. I mean goddamn that eagle
Was something special. Bitch was doing yogalates
I think. Staying all limber in case some dumb
Fish got too close to the surface, then ‘shank!’
Straight out the sky like a fuckin’ ICBM.
I could watch this bastard all day. What’s that?
He’s lifting his ass toward us. Is he gonna fly?
Ahhhh no! Just shot shit in our general direction.
Stay classy, eagle. Stay goddamned classy.

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