Step 1: Make promises to yourself you know you cannot keep: swear off love (for good this time), go vegetarian, quit smoking or drinking (cold turkey!), begin to care about politics, write a novel, etc.
Step 2: Announce your plans. Do it publically so everyone knows. The bigger the better! Dinner parties, sporting events and club meetings make excellent choices. Don’t forget to take advantage of social media. Your Twitter followers surely care about this latest sweeping declaration.
Step 3: Fail immediately. This is to be expected. We can’t all change overnight, right? No need to be so public about this; you are still trying after all. It’s probably just a rough patch. Use your vice du jour to wash away the guilt you naturally feel. Shy away from alcohol, lest you be tempted to make an even bigger pronouncement.
Step 4: Adjust your plans. Lower your expectations this time. Be “realistic.” You didn’t honestly think you’d quit cold turkey, did you? These things take time. Make a checklist. Privately alter original goal to “eventually.”
Step 5: Tell everyone you’re working on it. Announce baby steps to all interested (or at least proximate) parties. Check easiest items off list. Really try. Quickly slide back into old patterns.
Step 6: Refer to Step 1.
PAD Challenge 13: Write a self-help poem